[WoW] And now for something completely different...

Dear Blizzard,

As I type this, I'm atop one of the buildings in Stormwind, looking puzzled at the spectre of an enormous blue dragon hovering over the middle of town. It's a very imposing, very impressive looking blue dragon, hanging there ghostly in the night like the revenant of some future holiday. I'm told, by the ever-helpful and informative folks in [2:Trade] that this dragon portends some lucky caster's acquisition of the legendary staff. That's impressive, and certainly happy news for that caster.

Now, I've never had a legendary. I'm not what you'd call a top-end raider. In fact, I haven't raided regularly since Naxxramas, for several reasons. I've never had a bite at that particular cherry, and that's okay. I understand that legendaries are supposed to be special, unique items, and that they're necessarily constrained to a few classes. That's fine.

But, Blizzard: don't you think it's high time we tanks got some love?

The latest recipient of hot sweet orange lovin' are the rogues, with their Fangs of the Father pair. Bless them, they can now be the Batman. I've always liked rogues, since they're the only class that really plays a different game than the rest of us. Sure, druids can stealth, but rogues are all about Stealth. And they can pick pockets. Good times.

In fact, there have been a grand total of nine legendaries (counting the daggers and Warglaives as one legendary each, and ignoring the temporary legendaries in the Kael'thas fight in Tempest Keep). Of these, three have been good for rogues. Two have been good for plate DPS, one was really only for hunters, two have been for caster DPS and one was for healers. One-third of all the legendaries ever released have been Rogue loot. (Yeah, the Warglaives could be used by Warriors and DKs as well, but come on: they have Agility on them. Let's be realistic.)

An analysis of this pattern leads to two conclusions: one, rogues have been given enough love. It's time for someone else. I suggest tanks. Two, tanks have never had a legendary of their very own. The niche that is historically hardest to fill has had the least orange attention.

This will not stand.

I know, Blizzard, that your tanks have different methodologies. I know that some of us use shields, while other tanks prefer to block with their faces. I know that our weapon sets don't have a lot of logical overlap. But surely this isn't a titanic problem -- after all, Quel'Delar's quest line had an end result that could be varied by class.

But it's a legendary, you say. Yes, I know. If it's a legendary, it should just be that weapon. No variances, no shifting things around. It is what it is. And there isn't a single weapon type that is usable by all five tanking classes. (Yeah, we're thinking ahead here.)

Or is there?

I'd like to submit for your consideration: the naginata. The naginata is a Japanese weapon, essentially a katana blade with a five-foot haft. It's a polearm, is what I'm saying. A polearm with a sword blade on the end of it.

See where I'm going with this?

I propose that a legendary blade be introduced in the Mists of Pandaria expansion. This blade will be the result of a long quest line, involving a master blacksmith, rare ingredients, dragon's blood, all the usual tropes. It will require a lot of effort on the part of the tank and his entire raid. And it will be a tanking weapon, oh yes. The tank will collect his items, perform his trials, complete his tasks, and then, at the very end of it, the master smith will present the tank with the finished blade, Hattori Hanzo-style. If the recipient is a Warrior or a Paladin, our Masamune stand-in will have produced a tanking sword, resplendent with Strength and Stamina. If the recipient is a Death Knight, Druid or Monk, the legendary blacksmith will have affixed a big honkin' haft to that sucker and we'll have ourselves a tanking polearm.

See? You can even use the same art asset for the blade, because lore-wise, it's the same blade. The only difference between the two weapons is, essentially, the length of the hilt. Every tanking class gets the love we've so long been lacking, and we all get to rock out like samurai in the new land of Pandaria. It'll be glorious.

Please, Blizzard. From the bottoms of the hearts of every tank everywhere, please. Please give this to us. For all the idiot PUGgers, for all the absurd repair bills, for all the aggro aggravation, for all the dragon crotch, please. We are the front line between the big nasty and the rest of the raid. We deserve some orange love.

Thank you.